My Dearest Emily,
I hope you'll allow me to call you Emily. I know we don't know each another, but, honestly, I can't stand to see you being presented as a nameless thing--an object of pity or scorn--when you have an identity of your own--even if no one took the pains or even simply the time to discover it.
You see, in many ways I identify with you, with your plight. Abandoned by the man you loved...there was once a man I loved. Left to raise your child alone...I had three little ones, two of them before I turned nineteen. Treated as if you were mad...well, maybe I was mad. Maybe I am. I was. I am.
But we go on, don't we?
Only...
Only, I know that poet lied about you. He pretended to hear your voice. He pretended to know your mind. He told the world the secrets that you whispered to your child, the consolation, the commiseration, the promises, the pain.
But he knew nothing. He felt nothing. He saw nothing and heard nothing at all.
Maybe rumors.
And, to be fair, even poets can be deceived. By an ill fame with slobbering lips and stoppered ears, even poets can be misled.
Oh, but Emily, how long must we endure these lies? How long must we allow others to pretend to speak for us? If they leave you to wander about, an abandoned mother, with an abandoned child, searching for something in a world of nothing, what right do they have to call you the crazy one?
Emily, I don't know what to do for you. He called you mad--then he taught me how to call you mad as well.
But I've been played the fool too long.
So if it's madness he wants, madness they want, then...
Then maybe I'll be mad too.
With all affection,
In solidarity,
Another Mad Mother
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2 comments:
i'm glad you wrote this with me in mind, because it makes me feel....proud? does that sound condescending? i don't mean it to sound that way. what i mean is this - i am definitely not the most creative person out there. i might not even be in the top 50%, but i'm glad that i drive other people, people more talented than i am, to be creative. i think that's pretty great.
all of that to say this: i think this is great creative work, and i'm so excited to see you in these creative lights as we continue through the semester.
Thanks Rachel! As you can see from my most recent post, I fail at creative writing, lol. But, what the heck, it doesn't hurt to try, right?
Anyway, your saying you feel proud doesn't sound condescending at all. It's pretty cool that looking to you as an audience inspired me to try writing creatively in class. I had an experience once as an undergrad that made me hesitant to share with professors and fellow students any of the writing I do for myself, so I've been posting it online but definitely keeping it low key. I suppose having a class blog is kind of liberating anyway, but I also definitely feel comfortable sharing the personal writing with you. (Though I think I won't volunteer to read it aloud again! That sure didn't go over too well, haha!)
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